Adjusting
by Chichigoku1
Summary: What if after Bella's party,Edward never left?This is my version of that scenario.This is my first story, I hope you guys like it,I look forward to hearing your thoughts: Of course,all credit goes to Stephanie Meyer who inspired us with her amazing story.
1. Adjusting

Edward never left...

Story begins immediately after the party

"He's waiting for you." Edward knew before we even left the truck that Charlie was staring at the game, waiting for my return after the big party. The party I didn't want, the party I didn't need, the party that went horribly wrong. My hand moved down to the bandage on my arm, and I glanced at it. Edward looked at me anxiously, but said nothing. I took a deep breath as I tried to walk through the front door without tripping. "Hey Bells, how was the part....." Charlie stopped short when he caught a glimpse of my bandaged arm. He shook his head. "What happened this time?" "I fell. No big deal." I muttered. "It's been a long night, I'm going to bed." Charlie mumbled a half reply as his attention returned to the television. I hurried upstairs and was relieved to see that Edward had stayed, he waited for me. My relief disappeared the instant I saw his eyes. They were tense, anxious. "Edward..." He cut me off. "Bella, when I think about what could have happened tonight, when I think about the danger I put you in, that I have been putting in, that I will continue to put you in, how can you even look at me? How can you believe me when I tell you that I love you, after all of this, how?" I scowled at him. I was getting tired of this same story, over and over. Didn't he see how much we belonged together? That tonight was no big deal? Sure it seems bad, but nothing happened. Everything turned out fine. He turned his gaze to the window as I climbed up into his arms. "Edward, I love you. I know how much you love me; you have proven that to me over and over again." He snorted. "Tonight was not that bad..." He turned to me with a look of disbelief. "It was NOT that bad. Look, if I wasn't so clumsy and stupid, none of this would have happened. Anyone else would have opened that gift with no problem, but of course I had to go cut myself. Typical Bella. Well I am not going to let you put the blame on yourself, or anyone else besides me. From now on someone else can open my gifts....well until I don't have to worry about silly things like cutting myself anymore." I glanced at him carefully out of the corner of my eye; he was shaking his head with his eyes closed. "Let's not discuss this anymore tonight okay?" He eyes were pleading. "Okay." I happily agreed. The last thing I wanted to do was rehash the total disaster that was my birthday party. The thought of it made me cringe, the stupid paper cut I gave myself trying to open a gift, then Edward throwing himself into me when Jasper lost control, broken crystal, blood, and chaos as seven vampires tried to deal with the scent and sight of my blood. Sighing, I climbed into bed, and Edward slid in beside me. He began to hum my lullaby and I was asleep.

My eyes fluttered open slowly. I felt a jabbing pain in my arm, and began to remember the events of the previous night. My eyes flew open, suddenly terrified, I looked around and instant relief and joy flooded through me. Edward had stayed. He was smiling at me from the chair in the corner of the room. "Good morning." He said lovingly. I beamed at him. "You stayed." "Of course I stayed." He looked a little offended by my surprise. "It's just that....after last night...I-I...wasn't sure if..." "Bella," Edward was by my side in a flash. "I told you, I am not strong enough to stay away from you, even if that's what is best for you. I love you too much, you have my heart." I sighed happily and threw my arms around him. He chuckled softly and held me there for what seemed like forever. Then he slowly pulled away. "As much as I'd love to stay this way, you do have to get ready for school, that is if you intend to graduate this year?" I sighed and pulled myself up out of bed and grabbed my bag of bathroom stuff. "I won't be long." I grumbled. I could hear more chuckling as I closed the door behind me. School was more of the same. The same groupings at lunch, the same topics of discussion. I was anxious to get this day behind me. I was anxious to speak with Alice, Carlisle, Esme, Emmet, Rosalie and especially Jasper. I wanted to talk to them, reassure them, let them know that everything was okay. That what happened wasn't their fault, it was my fault and I didn't blame them at all. I needed to know they weren't worrying about this. Edward was still upset, but he promised me that he would try to let it go. I hoped desperately that he would, but I knew Edward too well, he was not in the habit of letting things go. Especially where my safety was concerned. I glanced at the clock, relieved to see that the bell was about to ring for the end of the day. Good. I needed to fix this mess.

He was waiting for me just outside my classroom. Smiling at me, trying to hide the tension I could still see in his eyes. I sighed, and took his hand. We walked to his car, he was so quiet. "Edward, I can't stand it!" I finally said, frustrated. He looked at me questioningly. "Oh please, don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about. You are so quiet, and you are not fooling me at all, I can tell that you are still thinking about the.....incident. This is ridiculous. I'm fine. "I shoved my bandaged arm in his face. "You see? Fine! A little scrape and lost blood, nothing I haven't dealt with a hundred times before. And I don't want any nonsense about vampires and danger. Enough of this already!" I huffed and looked out the window. Too angry to face him, and too frustrated not to cry if I said anything else. I could feel Edward's eyes on me. "Would you please watch the road?" I muttered quietly. He sighed and reached his hand over to touch my face. I turned back to him, hoping I could keep the tears from spilling out over my cheeks. "You know, you are adorable when you are angry." He half smiled. I scowled at him. "Bella, please. I am trying, you know I am trying. But this is hard for me, seeing you like that, all I want to do is protect you. The problem is, I am the very thing that you need protecting from." He held up his hand as I opened my mouth to argue. "No, we aren't doing this. I know that you hate it when I talk like this, but it's _how I feel_, it's how it is. It doesn't change my love for you and it doesn't change things between us. I'm here, I'll always be here. That won't change. But you need to know that I have these feelings and it's going to be hard for me...it's...going to take time for me to try to move past them, to accept that the dangers are there and try to anticipate them more carefully. I don't want to argue about this Bella, so please let's just leave it be. "I sighed, and nodded. I didn't want to argue about this either. And I knew Edward was being honest, he was trying, though I wish it was a bit easier for him. I tried to imagine what it would be like for me if things were the other way around, and I understood his pain and frustration. I smiled at him and took his hand. He rubbed his thumb softly along my fingers. I wanted to reason with him, if he would only agree to my change, these silly problems would go away. There would be no danger of me hurting myself, no human complications. It would just be us, together forever. But I knew he wouldn't hear it. And now was not the time. So I resigned myself to a night of reassuring his family that I was fine. This would have to be a discussion for another day.....

I walked through the front door of the Cullen's home; it seemed strange that the last time I was here I was, once again, injured by my own clumsiness. The thought of the blood pouring down my arm made me wince, and I tried to catch myself before Edward noticed. I didn't. "Bella...we don't have to do this. We could go---" I cut him off. "Edward I _want_ to do this, I want them to understand that I don't blame them. "They know that Bella." Edward pressed his lips together in a thin line and sighed heavily. I looked at him questioningly, and then realized what had caused his sudden tension. Rosalie. Coming down the stairs, gliding smoothly and looking beautiful and perfect as always. My breath caught as I looked at her. Her beauty still amazed me. Her face was anything but friendly as she glared at me. In fact she looked so angry I had to turn my eyes away from her. I felt Edward stiffen. "Rosalie I don't appreciate that." I heard Edward mutter. "Well Edward, last night was a perfect example of why _she_ doesn`t fit into this family. She doesn`t belong here. Just look how upset she has made everyone, look at the setback she has caused Jasper. We don`t need those kinds of problems. She`s more trouble than she`s worth." As she said the words, I could feel my stomach twisting on itself. Was I worth all this trouble? Edward growled at her. "I will _NOT_ allow you to talk like that about Bella. She has done nothing wrong. Last night was an accident, and you did nothing but make things worse with your petty attitude!" "Edward, Rosalie, that's enough." I heard Carlisle's voice coming around the corner. "Rosalie, it's time for you to go. Emmet is waiting." I looked at Edward. "They're going hunting." He whispered. "Edward you need to calm down. I know Rosalie has upset you, but you know how she feels and you cannot let her upset you that way." He looked at me. "Bella, no one blames you for what happened last night. We all feel terrible about the way things happened. " His face was full of regret. And somewhere in the distance I heard Rosalie snort. We all ignored her. "I hope that we haven't made you feel unwelcome here. You know that you are always welcome and we hope that you will continue to feel comfortable spending time with us here." I couldn't believe he would think I blamed them for my stupidity. "Carlisle, I only want you to know that I don't blame any of you for what happened last night. It was my clumsiness, as usual, that caused things to go badly. I wanted to apologize---" He put his hand up. "No, Bella, this was not your fault and I won't have you blaming yourself. I know that Jasper feels terrible about what happened. He and Alice have decided to take some time on their own. A bit of a vacation. He just needed some time away." I felt terrible, but at the same time happy that they still wanted me to be a part of Edward's life. I nodded. There was nothing else I could say. I had caused this mess, had forced Jasper to take time away, had infuriated Rosalie. I felt like the more I tried to fix it, the worse I would make it. So I left it at that. Edward took too my hand and led me upstairs, I had a feeling he wanted to be away from last night's memories.

I stared up at Edward, watching his face. He was gazing out his bedroom window, thinking, I assumed. I didn't speak; I just watched him, his beautiful marble skin and golden eyes. I was lost in him when he pulled me from my daze. "Bella." He said softly as he slowly turned towards me. I didn't reply; my heart was pounding in my chest, as it did every time he looked into my eyes. He moved toward me and brushed his hand slowly down my face, then my arm, then landed his hand on my waist. He pulled me in for a gentle hug. In one swift, invisible motion he had me against the wall, smiling his crooked smile at me. My heart thudded louder, and of course, my face flushed. He smiled wider at that. He bent his face toward me and brushed his lips along my cheek, my neck and finally my lips. Gently at first, and then harder, deeper. I knotted my hands up in his hair and breathed his name. And he slowly pulled away. I was breathing hard, of course. And he was chuckling. If he continued to do this to me, I wasn't sure if I would survive long enough to convince him to change me. My heart would surely thud so hard it would explode one of these times. "I think it's time I got you home." I nodded, it was getting late anyway and Charlie would be waiting. He hugged me again, and clasping my hand, let me down the stairs and out to where my truck was waiting. I slid into the driver's seat, much to Edwards's frustration, he always wanted to drive. It didn't take long to get home, despite my truck's 55 mph limit. And when we were getting close to Charlie's, Edward's face tightened and his back stiffened. I immediately threw my eyes toward the house, and then I saw Billy Black and his son Jacob in the driveway talking to Charlie. I glanced at Edward, but he was already hopping out of the truck, while it was still moving. I was never going to get used to that. "I'll see you soon." He whispered as he kissed my cheek quickly, and then he was gone. I pulled into the driveway and Charlie smiled. "Hey Bells! Billy here was just inviting us over for dinner tomorrow night." Great, I thought. This should be interesting. "Oh, I---" Charlie interrupted my reply. "You want to come, right Bells?" What could I say? "Yeah, sure. Sounds great." I lied. Charlie nodded happily. "See, I told you she'd want to come. You and Jacob can hang out while Billy and I watch the game." I sighed. This felt like an attempt to get me away from Forks, and certain residents of the area. Billy was not very subtle. "Yeah, great." I said. Trying to sound enthusiastic. I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of knowing that he'd succeeded. I mumbled something about homework and said goodbye to the Blacks, I could see Jacob smiling as I walked past him. I headed inside and stomped my way up the stairs to my room. I waited for the sound of Billy's car leaving. Then I heard Charlie coming inside, and the inevitable sounds of the television being turned on. I ran over to my window and tried to see through the darkness. "You really are adorable when you're angry." I jumped and a small squeak escaped from my throat. "Edward!" He smiled at me. "They just want an excuse to get me away from you, even if it is for one night. Billy's probably going to corner me and start going on about my safety and what is and isn't Charlie's business. Ugh." Edward sighed. "Bella, you need to relax. There's nothing Billy can say to Charlie that will be of much consequence. Tough I hate the idea of you being away from me, where I can protect you." His face looked pained. "Please be careful Bella, try not to hurt yourself." He was completely serious as he looked at me with pleading eyes and an overly concerned expression. I scowled at him and glanced down at my bandaged arm. He looked away. "I hate not being able to be there and keep you safe." He whispered. I sighed. "Edward, it's just one night. I'll be fine." He turned to me and I was instantly pulled against his chest. He crushed his lips against mine, for a moment it was just the two of us. Edward and Bella, and no one else in the world. "I'm holding you to that." He whispered.


	2. A new connection

**Thank you to everyone for your support, and suggestions!! Hope you like it :)**

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Charlie stared at me as I grabbed the keys to my truck, I could feel his eyes on my back.

"Look, it's no big deal Charlie; I just want to take my own truck so that I can head home if I start to get tired. You've already given me the directions, and you'll be right behind me. It's not like I'm going to get lost."

He shook his head and grunted a reply that I couldn't make out. He wanted me to go with him in his cruiser, and I was not going to give in. I didn't want to go down to La Push, and having my truck there would give me an out, if I needed it. Billy had set up this dinner at the reservation so that he could get me away from Edward. Of that, I was sure. It's just too bad he didn't realize that it was a useless effort. I cringed when I thought about what he would say to me, what he would try to convince me to do. I sighed heavily and climbed into my truck. It was going to be a long night.

It didn't take me long to get to La Push, and I could see Billy and Jacob watching for our arrival as I parked my truck in front of the house. I sat there for a few minutes, preparing myself for what I fully expected would be an awkward and uncomfortable experience. Charlie's cruiser pulled in behind me a few minutes later; I sighed as I took my keys out of the ignition and reluctantly stepped out on to the Black's driveway. I tried to look happy about being here, under the circumstances. It's not that I disliked Billy and Jacob; in fact I had been looking forward to spending time with them, getting to know them better. That is, before Billy knew about Edward and me, before he started giving me knowing looks, and sending warnings. Ugh. The phrase 'why can't we all just get along' comes to mind here. Charlie looked over at me and I looked back, trying to maintain a happy expression. We walked to house in silence. I could see Jacob there waiting, grinning at me. I couldn't help but smile back at him. He had such a friendly smile, it was contagious. And the few times I'd talked to him he had been really sweet, he was a nice guy. So, I would make the best of this. Hey, if I could spend most of the night hanging out with Jacob, it might not be so bad.....

"Hey Bella! You finally made it down!"

I smiled at his enthusiasm.

"Yeah, it's been a while since I was down here. Not since the beach party."

He smiled and nodded, obviously happy that I remembered. Like I could forget? That's when I found out the truth about Edward, when I realized that it didn't matter what he was, none of it mattered to me, I would always be his. That memory would stay with me forever. Billy and Charlie had already gone inside, and the sounds of the television were echoing through the walls. I glanced at the door, hoping I could escape being trapped in that house...with Billy and his warnings. Ugh. Jacob seemed to pick up on my hesitation and shot me a look of understanding.

"Hey you want to see the car I'm fixing up?" His face lit up with excitement at the possibility.

The idea of seeing mechanics in progress didn't excite me that much, but it was definitely better than the alternative. I shuddered as I glanced back at the house.

"Sure that sounds great Jacob." I tried to sound like I meant it.

He took me into his makeshift garage and showed me his Volkswagen Rabbit. It looked old, but it was obvious, even to me, that he had done some good work on it. And then I remembered his father's promise, to buy him that part he needed, if he would talk to me about Edward. I rolled my eyes at the memory.

"Hey, this is the car you told me about before. Did your dad make good on his deal, to buy you the part you needed?"

He grinned sheepishly, probably remembering the awkward conversation we had at prom, where he had given me his father's warning about staying away from Edward, and "they'd be watching me."

"Yeah, he did." He mumbled quietly.

He shrugged, and gave me an apologetic look. I stepped over to have a closer look at the car, to try to show him I was interested in his project. And I sort of was...interested. It was nice talking to Jacob; he had an easy way about him. I felt comfortable with him. I made my way past the clutter over to the car, and almost tripped over a pile of tools, but caught myself. He laughed. I peeked over at the innards of this car that he was working on, it just looked like a pile of grease and metal to me, but I smiled and nodded as if I knew what I was seeing. He laughed again. Clearly he was not fooled. At all. I stepped back, being careful to avoid the pile of tools, and sat on a plastic carton. He glanced at the car, and then back at me. I smiled.

"It's fine if you want to work on it, I'll just hang out and watch you. "

I wasn't lying; I genuinely wanted to stay here with him, in this garage. He looked at me skeptically, and raised his eyebrows.

"That doesn't sound like much fun for you," he protested, but clearly wanted to dig his hands into that grease and metal and get working.

"It's a lot more fun than hanging out in there." I waved my hand toward the house, and continued to assure him. "Besides, it would be interesting to see you work. I've never known any mechanics before."

He hesitated, and then shrugged.

"Okay, but don't say I didn't warn you if you get totally bored."

I was actually surprised that I didn't get bored. Watching Jacob work was fascinating, he grabbed each tool without even looking, his hands instantly knew what he wanted. He clanked and twisted the metal, removing things and replacing things. He was completely focused on his project, and I was completely unaware that I had been staring at him.

"Hey, you want a drink or something?" He stopped working and looked up at me.

I jumped at his voice. I had been so focused on watching him that I nearly had a heart attack when he spoke.

"No, thanks I'm okay." I tried to look casual as he laughed and reached for a soda.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you. You sure you're not bored?" He looked worried as he glanced over at me.

"I'm really not bored Jacob; I'm actually having a good time."

And I was having a good time. Being with Jacob was surprisingly easy. We could sit there quietly without talking and it wasn't awkward. He had this energy that just made it really comfortable to be around him.

"Okay..." He turned back to his project, his eyebrows raised and his eyes wide, clearly not believing me.

But watching him work was fascinating, and being with him was so comfortable. I was perfectly happy sitting here in his garage with him, not being cornered by Billy to listen to more of his warnings. We chatted about school and his friends. He told me about Quil, and Embry his two best friends, and about how boring it was in the reservation, because nothing exciting ever happened. I laughed at that, and thought about Edward and his family saving me from James, and shuddered. Boring wasn't always a bad thing...

Jacob and I had decided to eat our dinner outside in the garage, Charlie was too engrossed in the game to notice when we grabbed our plates and headed outside, but I saw Billy out of the corner of my eye, giving me a look as if he wanted to say something, then glancing back at Charlie and sighing. I hurried out of there, I was glad to have escaped that conversation. We had just finished eating and I checked my watch, deciding it was time for me to head back home. I surprised myself, again, by feeling reluctant to leave. I was having a good time; part of me wished I could stay. I realized I had found an ally in Jacob, I was actually happy that I had come down here. But I did need to go; Edward promised he'd be waiting for me when I got back. As soon as I thought of Edward, my hesitation disappeared. I stood up quickly and picked up my plate.

"I really have to get going Jacob. It was nice being here with you, thanks for hanging out with me; I had a really good time."

He beamed at me, and I smiled back. He was a bit of sunshine that lit up this otherwise very dark evening. If it hadn't been for Jacob, this night would have been torturous. I headed inside with my plate and told Charlie I was going home. He nodded and Billy glanced over at me again, but I quickly made my exit, before he could follow me. Jacob walked me to my truck.

"I'm glad you came down Bella. And hey, I'm sorry about my dad. I know he wanted to talk to you tonight, more about your, you know, boyfriend..."

He said the word 'boyfriend' as if it were a secret.

"... I know how he can be, I'm glad you were okay with hanging out in the garage; it helped me keep you from being cornered. " He rolled his eyes. "...And hey, don't wait so long before coming down again; next time we can hang out at the beach or something, I won't keep you trapped in the garage." He smiled at me, his eyes looking hopeful.

I was very, very grateful for Jacob's understanding. He had saved me tonight.

"Thanks Jake, I really appreciate you saving me tonight. It can get a little awkward when Billy starts talking about the Cullens..." I trailed off, not really wanting to get into a conversation about this.

He nodded in agreement and rolled his eyes again.

"I'll come down again soon." I promised, and I meant it.

It would be nice hanging out with Jacob. I was happy to have a friend who I could just be myself with and who didn't ask me questions about Edward, or give me strange looks. When I was with Jacob, it was like we were just two old friends, casual and comfortable. I liked it, and I was looking forward to seeing him again. But right now, all I wanted to do was get home. I relaxed at the familiar roar of my engine; I was going home to see _him._ I waved goodbye to Jacob and pulled out onto the road, out of the corner of my eye I could see Billy, in the doorway watching me go. I threw him a friendly wave, and turned my eyes to the road ahead of me. My only focus now, was Edward.

It was dark when I pulled into the driveway; none of the lights were on. Great, I had a hard enough time not falling in the middle of the day, let alone trying to manoeuvre my way to the house in the pitch black. I stepped carefully onto the driveway, and started making my way, slowly, to the front door. I screamed when I felt someone grab me.

"It's okay Bella, it's just me." Edward chuckled as he slid one arm around my waist.

My heart was pounding thanks to the scare he gave me, and would continue to pound thanks to the arm around my waist. I could see him trying to hide a smile.

"Edward!" I yelled. "You could have said something."

He laughed out loud, no longer able to hold it in, and I elbowed him in the ribs. Cursing when I definitely bruised myself and he didn't even seem to notice that I had elbowed him at all. I rubbed my elbow as he led me inside.

"So, how was it?" He asked, at the same time looking me over to see if I had injured myself.

I scowled at him.

"I'm fine, I can get through one night on my own, you know Edward..."

He raised one eyebrow at me. I scowled again. He was right though; I was notorious for hurting myself, a lot.

"Anyway, it was actually fine. Jacob and I hung out in his garage while he fixed up this car he's been working on. He kept me from dealing with Billy. "

Edward raised another eyebrow at me.

"What?" I asked, trying to figure out why he was looking at me like that.

He smiled and shook his head.

"I'm just trying to picture _you_ in a garage, and I'm also very grateful you didn't hurt yourself in that garage."

I sighed. Okay fine, I knew the words 'garage' and 'Bella' didn't exactly go hand in hand, but I did have a good time regardless, and Edward deserved another elbow in the ribs, not that there was much point in that.

"Well I _was_ in a garage, and I _didn't _hurt myself and I had a good time. So all in all, the night was a success. And it was nice talking to Jacob, its nice having an ally to protect me from Billy."

Edward pulled me close into his arms and I laid my head against his chest. All my worries disappeared when we were like this, together, just us. It was perfect.

"I'm glad you enjoyed yourself, and I'm glad you are back."

He glanced toward the door, then lifted me into his arms and began carrying me upstairs.

"Charlie will be home in a few minutes." He said. I nodded in understanding.

It was very convenient that Edward always knew when Charlie was on his way. He'd be tired, ready for bed. He wouldn't be up for conversation. I was grateful for that, because right now all I wanted to do was escape to my room with Edward.

Edward was lying beside me on the bed, I had the covers pulled around me so I wouldn't get cold, not that I cared about that, but he was always worrying about my body temperature when I was next to him. I curled up closer to him and laid my head on his chest; he brushed the hair from my face and put his arm around my waist, pulling me closer. I slowly drifted off to sleep, breathing in his scent. I had a dreamless sleep, a perfect sleep, and when I awoke, he was there, gazing down at me with love filling his eyes.

Charlie was already gone to work. So Edward and I were in the kitchen, I was chewing on some cereal, and he was sitting quietly in the chair across from me. I glanced up at him, taking another mouthful of cereal, and stopped chewing. He looked anxious; I hated seeing him look anxious, it worried me. A lot. I knew he had something on his mind, and I had a feeling I knew what it was about, so I continued to chew my cereal and waited for him to bring it up. He sighed, and looked out the window.

"I won't be over after school on Friday." He said quietly.

I had expected this for the past few days, so I wasn't surprised.

"Hunting trip?"

He nodded, still looking out the window. I hated it when he had to leave for his hunting trips, but I knew it was necessary. I stared down at my cereal, thinking about the long few days ahead. I knew Rosalie and Emmett had already gone hunting, so that meant Edward would be going with Alice and Jasper.

"It's supposed to be sunny this weekend, and we need to go, so it's a good time to schedule a 'hiking trip.'" He continued staring out the window.

I knew it would be good for him to go while it was sunny; it was easier for people to believe that the Cullens were on a hiking trip if the weather was appropriate. And it had been a while since he had gone. Probably too long. I hated that he was going, it shouldn't bother me this much, but I hated being away from him. I knew he needed to go and I didn't want him to feel guilty for doing something that was necessary. I climbed onto his lap and smiled up at him as he wrapped his arms around me. I touched the dark circles under his eyes...it had been too long since he had gone...

"I'll be fine, I have some laundry I have to do and it will be a good time to get some studying done too."

He buried his face in my hair.

"I'll be back as soon as I can." He promised, and I instantly felt guilty.

I stroked his face with my hand and looked into his eyes, eyes that were darker than they should be. My heart starting thudding loudly as he started back into mine. He smiled, I was sure he could hear it, pounding against my chest. I tried to take a deep breath, but my breath was short, and I felt my face flush as he chuckled softly. He touched his lips to mine and my heart pounded louder, he crushed my body into his, kissing me deeper. I pushed myself into him and wrapped my arms around his neck, curling my hands up into his hair; I parted my lips and let my breath escape in a quiet sigh. He smiled and gently pulled away from me. My heart was still pounding and my breath was short and ragged. I looked up at him and his eyes were blazing.

"You really will be the death of me Bella." His expression soft was and his lips were curved into a crooked smile.

It would definitely be a long couple of days without him.

I headed upstairs to get ready for school. I pulled on a pair of jeans and cotton t-shirt, it didn't matter what I wore I always looked a mess anyway. I yanked a brush through my hair and looked at myself in the mirror. My hair was impossible, so I gave up and put it in a ponytail. I was thinking about what I could do for the next few days, I really did have laundry and studying to do but neither option was particularly appealing. Edward had said it was supposed to be sunny so maybe I could go for a drive....

And then I remembered promising Jacob that I would visit him again soon in La Push. Friday was only a few days away, and the thought of spending the weekend with Jacob was a welcome alternative to laundry, studying, or Jessica. I hadn't spent much time with Jessica over the past few months, that was in part due to the fact that Edward and I were inseparable, and also in part due to the fact that she was stuck to Lauren like glue and Lauren hated me. I smiled at the idea of going down to First Beach; it would be much more fun than sitting around here.

When I came downstairs, Edward was waiting by the door.

"Bella, you look beautiful," he smiled. "But we do need to get moving if we are going to make it on time."

I looked over at the clock. I didn't realize how late it was. I nodded and hurried down the stairs. We got into Edward's Volvo and made our way to school, going way too fast of course.

"I think I'm going to go down to La Push this weekend." I said casually, I wasn't sure how Edward would feel about the idea.

He and the Blacks weren't exactly on good terms, of course Jacob didn't believe any of his father's stories about the cold ones, for that I was grateful. I thought I saw something change in Edward eyes, but then it was gone.

"Are you sure? Won't you be putting yourself right where you don't want to be? Where Billy is?"

I had no intentions of being alone with Billy.

"I thought I'd hang out at the beach, with Jacob." I looked over at him.

There was that something, in Edward's eyes again, and then it was gone, again.

"Bella it's....I'm glad you enjoyed spending time with Jacob...it's just hard for me to leave you, and then knowing you'll be with him....it's difficult for me. "

I remembered Edward talking about jealously when Mike Newton had been impossibly persistent and had been thinking some not-so-gentlemanly thoughts that Edward picked up on. The whole thing was utterly ridiculous, as if I'd ever be interested in Mike Newton. But jealous of Jacob? Jacob was just a friend, and he thought of me that way too. This was nothing like that situation with Mike Newton.

"Edward, Jacob only sees me as a friend; he's not interested in me _that way_." I was sure I was right.

Edward gave me a sideways glance.

"Bella, when are you ever going to see yourself clearly? You are beautiful, and there's that little thing about me being desperately in love with you. So you'll forgive me if I worry about you, just a little bit." He smiled over at me and I shook my head.

I knew there was nothing to worry about with Jacob. He was just a good friend. I turned to Edward as we pulled into the school parking lot.

"Trust me Edward; it's not like that with Jacob. He's no Mike Newton." I rolled my eyes as I said Mike's name.

Edward scowled and mumbled something to low for me to hear. Then he sighed and looked over at me as he pulled the keys out of the ignition.

"I can't promise I won't worry. You do seem to attract the worst kind of attention."

He shot me a devious smile and planted a kiss on my forehead. I would miss him terribly this weekend, but at least I would have someone to make the time less difficult.

The week went by quickly and Friday came way too fast. Edward and I were having lunch together; we sat in our usual spot with Alice along with Angela, Ben, Jessica, Mike and the others. Everyone was chatting casually as Edward and I sat quietly; we were both thinking about this afternoon. He would be leaving right after lunch, with Alice, to go hunting. When lunch was almost over Edward took my hand and walked me to class, everyone else was still finishing up, so it was fairly quiet on the school grounds. He pulled me into his arms and kissed me, hard and fast. He pushed his lips down onto mine and crushed my body into his. It all happened so fast that I didn't have time to catch my breath. He pulled away, leaving a few lingering kisses on my jaw line and my cheek, and finally one soft kiss on my forehead. He looked at me with regret in his eyes.

"I'll be back as soon as I can. Bella, please be careful." I could see the worry in his eyes.

I smiled at him, my beautiful marble skinned vampire.

"I will Edward. Hurry back." I squeezed his hand.

He smiled at me for a long moment, and then he was gone. I watched as his silver Volvo pulled away, I heaved a sigh, and headed to class. I tried not to focus on the empty seat next to me. The day would be over soon, and then I would call Jacob to see if he would save me again. I was lost in my thoughts all afternoon, when finally the bell rang and I nearly fell out of my seat. Thankfully no one noticed they were all too busy rushing out to start their weekends. I took my time walking to my truck, I wasn't overly anxious to start mine.

The house was quiet when I got home; Charlie wasn't back from work yet, so I took the opportunity to make my phone call. I dialed the number that Charlie had written on the list by the phone.

"Hrrow?" A muffled voice answered after the third ring.

"Hello? Jacob?"

I thought it was him but I wasn't sure, it sounded like he might be eating. I heard a choking sound, and then another sound....swallowing maybe?

"Bella?" He sounded surprised to hear me on the other end of the phone.

"Hey Jake! I hope I didn't catch you in the middle of supper?" Suddenly I wished I had waited to call him, he was obviously busy, and I'd probably interrupted their dinner.

"Nah, I was just having a pre-dinner snack." He replied casually. "What's up?" He asked, it definitely sounded like he had a smile in his voice.

"Well, I was just wondering if you were busy this weekend, I was thinking about heading down to First Beach." I tried to sound casual, not too eager. I didn't want him to think I was as desperate as I felt.

I had thought about calling him earlier in the week, but I didn't want him to feel obligated to spend time with me. So I thought if I called Friday night, it would have given him time to make his own plans and he'd have a reason to say no to me, if he wanted to. His reply dissolved any doubts that I had.

"Yeah! I mean, no I'm not busy, yeah you should come down. I didn't expect you to make it down so soon!"

He sounded really happy about me coming down. And then for a minute I wondered if Edward was right...but then I pushed that thought from my mind. Jacob thought of me as a friend, the same way I thought of him. Nothing more. We'd only talked a few times, how could he think of me as anything else?

"Okay great, so I'll see you tomorrow then." I said, wondering if he could hear the relief in my voice. I hoped not.

"Okay Bella, it'll be cool! This time I won't keep you trapped in my garage, I'll show you all the excitement La Push has to offer." He was heavy on the sarcasm when he said 'excitement'.

I laughed, remembering how he had complained about how boring the reservation was. We hung up and I started getting dinner ready for Charlie. I was making steak and baked potatoes, a simple dinner but it was one of Charlie's favourites. I heard the cruiser pull into the driveway just as I was taking the potatoes out of the oven. He inhaled deeply when he walked through the front door.

"Just in time." I set his plate of food on the table and he smiled.

"Looks good Bells."

He sat down and picked the paper. In between bites he would turn the pages and mumble incoherently. We finished dinner quickly and I washed the dishes and started upstairs.

"You're not going out? It's Friday night." He said, looking at me with a disapproving frown.

"Yeah I know but I have some pretty serious studying to do, calculus test next week. And I thought if I could get that done tonight, I would go down to La Push tomorrow and see Jacob."

I knew that little bit of information would squash his anxiety. He smiled and nodded approvingly.

"That's great Bells, Jake will like that. Billy and I are going fishing in the morning, so it's good Jake won't be stuck at home alone. You remember how to get there?"

I rolled my eyes, as if Jake didn't have friends in La Push. Geez Charlie, I thought to myself.

"Yeah dad, I'll be fine. I'm going to get a start on that studying now."

He just nodded and sat down in front of the television, as I headed upstairs to try and concentrate on something other than Edward's absence. I grabbed my calculus book and somewhere in the midst of trying to pull my thoughts from Edward to equations, I drifted off to sleep, his face in my mind and his name on my lips. I would hold him close to me until we were together again......


	3. There's something in the woods

Hope you guys like it!!

As always, all credit goes to Stephanie Meyer for creating the amazing world of Twilight.

I was in the woods, walking alone in the dark. I could see shadows in the trees, I could hear rustling, but I couldn't make out what it was, it was too dark. My heart was pounding, I could feel a bead of sweat trickling down the back of my neck, I tried to control my breathing but I could feel the adrenaline pumping through my body. I was terrified. My heart pounded, harder, louder, until all of a sudden I felt like it stopped. I heard hissing as something lunged toward me and my vision was covered in a flash of red.

I woke up screaming. I was gasping for breath and covered in sweat. I glanced at the clock, it was after 9. Charlie would be long gone. I definitely needed a shower. I crawled out of bed stumbled into the bathroom, I stepped into the hot shower, and stood there for a long time letting the water beat down on me, it was relaxing. I smiled as I thought about the day ahead. I was missing Edward terribly, and it would be nice to get out of here for a while. As I shut of the water and towelled myself dry, I wondered what the day would hold for me down in La Push.....

I grabbed a pair of jeans and an old T-shirt, and pulled them on. For the first time since I woke up, I noticed the light peeking through my window; I walked over to get a better look. It was sunny, actually sunny. I remembered when the sun used to make me smile, and now...well now it meant time away from Edward. He was using the sun as a reason to go 'hiking' which, only I knew, really meant hunting with Alice and Jasper......Jasper. My heart squeezed a little when I thought of him. I hadn't spoken to him since he and Alice had returned from their 'vacation' after the scene at my birthday party. I had wanted to talk to him and tell him I didn't blame him for anything, but we had, very conveniently, not seen each other since then. He hadn't even come back to school when Alice did. Edward told me that Jasper just needed a bit more time. I shook my head and forced my thoughts back to the moment. I couldn't think about all of that right now, there was nothing I could do about any of it while Edward, Alice and Jasper were all out of reach. I would worry about it when they returned.

I walked downstairs, into the kitchen and glanced at the cupboard. I didn't feel like having breakfast. I was missing Edward and worrying about Jasper; trying to focus my thoughts was an impossible task. I grabbed my coat and headed for my truck. As soon as I heard the roar of the engine, my foot was on the gas and I was headed to La Push. It took me about fifteen minutes to get there, and I saw Jacob right away, before I even stopped the truck. He ran over smiling.

"I was just starting to wonder if you were still coming, and then I heard that engine heading this way."

He patted the side of my truck and chuckled. I decided to ignore his comment.

"Yeah, slept in a bit later than I planned to. But, I'm here now, and the weathers great! What should we do?"

He nodded in the direction of the beach.

"Let's head over to First Beach like you wanted to, and then we'll figure it out from there." He grinned at me, a big grin that showed all his teeth. I laughed and hopped out of the truck. He made it impossible not to smile.

There were a lot of people down at the beach, taking advantage of the sunny day. I made my way toward the tree that I had sat at the last time Jacob and I had been at this beach. I sat down and looked at all the people smiling and laughing. Jacob eased down next to me and started tossing rocks along the sand.

"We don't get much sun around here..." then he grinned sheepishly at me. "I guess you know that though. People don't get a chance to enjoy the beach very often; no one wants to waste the opportunity."

He looked out at the Quileute families and smiled. I watched them too, running and playing and laughing. Their lives seemed so simple. I envied them. If only everything were that simple, if only I didn't have to worry about being a stupid, breakable, clumsy human. Why couldn't Edward see that turning me was exactly the right thing to do? It would change everything; I wouldn't cause any more pain and hurt for any of them. They wouldn't have to tip toe around me all the time. And I wouldn't get any older...Edward and I could be together for eternity. I couldn't bear the thought of getting older, wrinkly and grey while he was still beautiful and perfect. How could he want to be with an old woman? I let out a frustrated sigh and Jacob shot me a confused look. He mistook my frustration for boredom, and jumped up from the tree.

"Hey, I promised you this would be more fun than last time. Let's go watch the cliff divers!" His eyes were eager and he was backing up toward the cliff as he spoke.

"Cliff....divers?" That couldn't be what it sounded like. He couldn't possibly mean that people were jumping off those cliffs into the water......could he? He laughed.

"Come on Bella!" He grabbed my arm and pulled me toward the road. He was running while I was just trying not to trip and fall on my face, or break something. I could imagine the look on Edward's face if that happened.

We ran toward a secluded part of the beach where you could see the cliffs, but you couldn't get to them. I looked up and saw three distinct shapes standing at the top. The top! They were jumping from the top? That was totally insane....wasn't it? I looked around and no one else was even paying attention to the thrill seekers on the cliffs. I turned my eyes back to Jacob and caught him staring at me, a strange expression on his face. As if he were trying to stifle a laugh....and then he couldn't stifle it any longer. He burst out laughing and actually fell to the ground. I should have been angry, I was angry but I was too preoccupied with the jumpers to give Jacob the appropriate response. I watched as they stepped toward the edge of the cliff, I gasped; they were really going to do this!!! And then, in an instant they were plummeting to the water. Screaming and hooting as they went. My hand clapped over my mouth, my eyes wide with amazement. And then they plunged, making a massive splashing sound. I took a few steps forward trying to see them come back up, and then they were there laughing and yelling about who was the first one to step off the edge. I shook my head in wonder, they seemed invincible. Surely I would have landing on a rock and broken something, or several somethings if I had tried that. I shook my head again and turned to Jacob.

He was still on the ground laughing. Okay now the appropriate response came easily, I turned around and stomped down the beach toward my truck.

"Bella!" He managed to call between fits of laughter. "Hey, Bella! Come on, wait up!"

I had no intention of waiting. If his plan had been to make fun of me and embarrass me, well congratulations Jacob, job well done. But I wasn't going to sit around and wait for more. I continued toward my truck.

"Bella come _on_! It was just some fun! I never thought you'd freak out like that when you saw them, I couldn't help it, it was just so...so _hilarious!_"

Okay, if this was an attempt to calm me down, it was not a very good one. I turned around to give him a good, hard scowl and saw tears streaming down his face. Tears, from laughing...at me. I whirled back in the direction of my truck and kept stomping forward. This was ridiculous. I didn't come all the way down here for this.

"Okay, okay, look...Bella I _am_ sorry. I shouldn`t have laughed at you. Hey wait!"

I sighed and turned around. Okay fine, he probably wasn't being the jerk he seemed like he was being. And it was early, and I didn't necessarily want to go back to the empty house. He hadn't expected me to actually stop, he was still running and he tripped when he tried to stop abruptly. Face first in the sand. Hmm, that seemed like good payback. He stood up, sand all over his face. Yup, definitely good payback. I stood there smirking while he spit sand out of his mouth. After a few minutes of enjoying watching him struggle to remove the sand from his mouth and face, I figured that was good enough.

"Fine Jacob. You're sorry. But I don't appreciate being laughed at like that. How did you think I would react to people _jumping off a cliff_? Seriously?" I raised my eyebrows at him and gave him my best, 'I'm not impressed with you' glare. It didn't look like he bought it...at all.

"You're right Bella, sorry, sorry. " He held his hands up in an apologetic way.

"Well, now that you are passed your laughing fit, can we please go somewhere else?" I was done being here, now that people were watching us with curiosity. After Jacob's display, I just wanted to get away from the crowded beach.

"You want to see it?" He had a devious grin on his face.

"See...what?" I was very skeptical, I did not trust him right now.

"The cliff, the spot where they jumped. It's awesome Bella! "

I looked at him as if he'd completely lost his mind. In fact, at that very moment, I was sure he had.

"Jacob, I realize we haven't spent a lot of time together, but even in that short time I'm sure you have seen how uncoordinated I am? Me, on the top of a cliff? Not such a good idea."

He laughed. I could feel my anger bubbling up again and apparently so could he because he abruptly stopped laughing and coughed, conspicuously.

"We aren't going to be that close to the edge Bella, I just want you to see what it looks like, how it feels to be up there. Besides, I would never let anything happen to you. I'll keep you safe."

He smiled at me. If he was crazy, I must have been too, because I wanted to see it. I wanted to see what he was talking about, and feel it too. It sounded amazing. I fought with my inner voice, telling me to be reasonable and realistic and not do this stupid, stupid thing. I ignored that voice.

"Okay Jacob, let's go. But if anything happens to me....." I was going to deliver a threat on Edward's behalf, but then I thought better of it and just glared at him instead.

"I told you, I'll keep you safe." He sounded really confident. How could I argue? He knew La Push better than me.

We got in my truck, I drove and he gave directions. I pulled over where he said, and we walked along a trail that led straight to the cliff. As we got closer I got more and more anxious. This was a stupid idea. What was I thinking? I had to be crazy. Jacob glanced over at me and must have caught my anxiety, because he grabbed my hand and pulled me forward. And in a few minutes we were there, at the cliff and I was, at an appropriate distance from the edge, looking out at the view of the water.

It. Was. Incredible. I took in a deep breath while I tried not to step forward to get a better view. Cliff Bella, Cliff, I had to remind myself. But it was like nothing I'd ever seen before. It was so beautiful, and I was so happy that I had done this. I smiled over at Jacob and he smiled back, his big wide grin.

"Told you it was awesome. And we're nowhere near the edge, you're totally safe." He nodded as he said it, as if to reinforce his statement.

"Yeah Jacob, it's incredible. I've never seen anything like it, it's..." The moment was cut short by a rustling in the woods behind us. I snapped my head around and started scanning the forest with my eyes.

"Probably just a squirrel or something." Jacob shrugged casually and gave me, what I assumed, was meant to be a reassuring smile. But I wasn't reassured. Then we heard it again. I looked over at Jacob anxiously, he seemed completely calm but I was on edge now, and I wanted to leave. Something was there, and it might have been a squirrel but whatever it was, I didn't want to know.

"Uh, Jacob I think it's about time I started heading back home. I've still got some homework and ...." I trailed off. I hated lying, and why was I lying to Jacob? It was ridiculous that I felt the need to lie to him about this. He looked at me with regretful eyes, and I immediately felt guilty.

"Already? I.....okay, come on, I'll walk you back to your truck." He smiled at me and I wanted to crawl into a hole. Great Bella, Jacob has been nothing but kind and here you go lying to him for no reason whatsoever. I mentally scowled at myself.

"Thanks Jacob. Hey I had a lot of fun today, thanks for spending the day with me. I'm sorry if I kept you from something better, with Quil and Embry." He raised an eyebrow at me and shook his head.

"Sure, sure. I bet hanging out with Quil and Embry would have been a _real blast_ compared to hanging out with you." He rolled his eyes and laughed quietly. I wondered what that was about, but I didn't ask. We were at my truck, and despite the fun I had with Jake today, I wanted to get out of here.

"Thanks again Jake, I'll talk to you soon." I smiled up at him.

"Make sure you do." He replied as he beamed at me.

And with that I turned my key in the ignition and stomped on the gas, I was going home.

It didn't take me long to get back to Charlie's. It was close to supper time, so I heated up some leftovers sure that Charlie would be home any minute. He was. He chattered on about how good the fishing was and how smooth the water was. I smiled, cleared the plates and headed for the stairs. I didn't get far.

"Oh Bells, how was your day with Jake?" Charlie looked genuinely curious and I didn't have the heart to brush him off, though I really wasn't in the mood for idle chit chat.

"It was great dad; we hung out at the beach and watched some cliff divers." I cringed, I hadn't meant to tell him about that part. Oops. He had a serious disapproving look on his face.

"Well I don't want to hear about you hanging around those cliffs, it's too dangerous. You be sure to stay away from there you hear?" I had to stifle a giggle, like I would EVER be cliff diving. Seriously Charlie, come on.

"Yeah dad, no problem. I'm not really into the extreme sports, no worries there." He nodded and, looking relieved, turned to the television.

I shook my head and said goodnight as I headed upstairs to my room. I felt my heart flutter as a little hope bubbled up at the possibility of Edward waiting for me. But I knew he wouldn't be there, he was hunting and it was too early for him to be back. I walked through the door of my room and switched on my light I could see that he wasn't there, and even though I had known that he wouldn't be, I still felt disappointed. I lay on my bed thinking through what had happened today. Hanging out with Jacob had been fun, it was more than a distraction, I really enjoyed Jacob. I probably overreacted to that scene in the woods, but it had me seriously spooked. I thought about it for a while and then slowly felt myself drifting to sleep.

That night I had the same dream, alone in the woods, I could hear the rustling, my heart was pounding. This time there were two large shapes coming from the shadows, getting closer to me, I saw the flash of red and I woke up screaming. I sat up and caught my breath, waited for my heart beat to return to normal and opened my eyes, and there was Edward, sitting in the chair watching me and looking very worried.


	4. Confession

As always, all credit goes to Stephanie Meyer for her creativity and inspiration.

I blinked, yup he was really there. I immediately sat upright, his face was full of worry, my stomach did a flip flop. I took a deep breath. Crap. Charlie, if he had heard me screaming he would be in here any second.

"Edward...Charlie?" He shook his head.

"Charlie's gone, he left a while ago." Okay good, one disaster averted. Now I had to face whatever was troubling Edward, I hated seeing his face so full of anxiety. I took another deep breath.

"What's wrong?" He was beside me in an instant; I felt better just having him next to me. I relaxed a little bit.

"I was just going to ask you the same thing. You were tossing in your sleep, and talking about shadows, you said 'I have to get out of here, I have to run.' Then you woke up screaming. " He looked at me questioningly, waiting for me to respond. I sighed.

"It was just a stupid nightmare, I get them sometimes, it doesn't mean anything. The bad ones always seem more real. " I tried to brush it off as casually as I could, I wasn't about to tell him this was the second night in a row that I had this particular nightmare. He raised his eyebrows at me, but I was done with this.

"Is everything okay, really? It can't be just my nightmare that had you looking so worried...." I knew him well enough to know that something else was going on. Edward liked to keep things from me, his brand of protection, but I preferred to know what was happening. He hesitated, and gazed out the window.

"I thought we'd go to the meadow today, it would be nice to spend a day with you, with no distractions." He looked at me with that crooked smile. He was trying to change the subject, which made me angry, but I was all for the idea of spending the day at the meadow. I decided to postpone my questions until later, but I would not let this go.

"I need a few minutes to be human." Definitely needed to brush my teeth, and my hair, oh and get dressed. Edward smiled and stretched out on the bed.

"Go on, I'll be here."

After a brief survey of my appearance, I decided I needed to take a quick shower. I hopped in, scrubbed my face, and washed my hair, got clean and hopped out. I threw some beige pants and a sweater and pulled my hair back in a ponytail. Edward was staring at the ceiling when I came back into the room; as soon as I walked in he had me up against the wall, his golden eyes staring into mine. My heart started thudding, his cool sweet breath was against my skin, my head was getting fuzzy.

"Bella.." He whispered my name as he closed his eyes and buried his face in my hair. He held me against him as he moved down and kissed my forehead. I wrapped my arms around his neck and looked up at him. His lips met mine, softly and sweetly. I closed my eyes and breathed him in as his lips moved against mine. My heart thudding so loud I knew he could hear it. He gently pulled away.

"Let's go my love." He followed me downstairs and I glanced at the kitchen. I was hungry; he picked up on my hesitation and shook his head.

"I brought something for our trip to the meadow." He pointed to a basket by the door. He brought a picnic, from what I could tell.

"Okay, then we're ready to go." I grabbed my jacket and climbed into his Volvo, not before he opened the door for me. I looked at him as we drove, wondering what he was thinking, what was bothering him. Why did he always feel it was better not to tell me things? He wanted to protect me, but wouldn't I be better protected by knowing things? And if there was something I needed protecting from I wanted to know what it was. I didn't want to walk around blind to the truth. I sighed and turned to look out the window; I hoped I would get the truth out of him today.

We pulled off to the side of the highway and Edward grabbed the basket and handed it to me.

"Hold onto it tight, don't drop it." I looked at him doubtfully; I had a hard enough time holding on to him tightly when he was carrying me through these woods.

"Bella, we've done this before. It will be fine." He took my hand and tossed me up onto his back, I wrapped my arms around his neck and held the basket against his chest. I could feel Edward's chest rumble and he laughed softly. I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths. But minutes later we were there, and it was over.

"You can open your eyes now." He had already taken the basket and placed it on the ground. Before I realized what was happening my feet were stepping down into the soft grass.

Edward picked up the basket and we walked out to the middle of the clearing. He pulled out a blanket and laid it down, then he pulled out the food, put it on a plate and beckoned for me to sit down. There were croissants, cheese, cinnamon rolls, fruit, milk and juice. Edward lay down on his side and propped himself up on his elbow, looking at me expectantly. I eyed the plate in front of me and grabbed a croissant. As I nibbled on it I thought of ways to ask him about this morning. I didn't want to spoil today, it was amazing that he had done this, planned this picnic for me. But then, Edward was amazing anyway. I looked down at him and he had turned onto his back, he was staring up at the grey sky. He sighed and then closed his eyes.

"Alice has been having visions." I stopped chewing, this had to be what he was so worried about, but I was shocked he was actually telling me...voluntarily. He always tried so hard to protect me from unnecessary worry...but Alice having visions was nothing new...I put down the croissant and waited for him to continue.

"Her visions...they're.......incomplete," he opened his eyes and glanced at me.

"We don't know if it's anything to worry about," then he closed his eyes again and continued.

"She's seeing bits of things, sort of flashes, like a bit of forest, and then her vision goes blank and she can't see anything else. It's very confusing, and Alice is getting very frustrated. I'm worried about what she's not seeing..." His eyes were open again and looking at me. I tried to decide what this all meant.

"So, this is what you were worrying about this morning..." I was relieved that he volunteered the information. He sat up and took my hand.

"Yes, Bella it's....we just.....we don't know what it means. This has never happened to Alice before. As I said, we don't know if it's anything to worry about, and I didn't want to cause you to panic, which is why I hadn't told you, but I could tell you were going to ask me about it any minute. I know how determined you can be," He pursed his lips and shook his head at me. "We aren't sure what we are dealing with; we just need to figure out what it means."

I tried to process what he was telling me.

"I thought you couldn't read my mind," I gave him a sideways glance.

"I can't," An obvious note of regret in his voice. "But I know you Bella, and you are nothing if not determined, and stubborn." His eyes were soft as he glanced at me.

I sat there for a few minutes thinking about what he'd said. What could be causing Alice to have partial, blanked out visions? Was she losing her gift? Was that possible? I didn't know a lot about these things, but I was fairly certain vampires didn't lose their extra abilities. Partial visions of the woods, trees.....hmmm. I thought about my nightmare, being lost in the woods and being someone's...something's prey. But I was certain my nightmare had no relevance here. It was just a nightmare. I thought about mentioning it to Edward, but then thought better of it. It wasn't important.

"You aren't eating." Edward frowned at the barely touched food. And I pulled myself back to the moment. Right now, there was nothing we could do about Alice's visions, but there was something I could do about the growling coming from my stomach. I grabbed the partially eaten croissant and resumed my breakfast. I polished off two croissants, one cinnamon roll, some fruit, some cheese and milk. I was completely stuffed, and Edward looked pleased.

"I'm glad you liked it." He kissed my hair and started putting away what was left of the food. I stretched out and lay my head on his lap, looking up into his face. I enjoyed taking him in while he sat there quietly looking up at the sky again. His beautiful marble skin, dark eyelashes, bronze hair, he looked like a statue as he sat there so still. I tore my gaze from his beauty and closed my eyes, I thought about Alice and her imperfect visions. Edward said they weren't sure what to make of the visions, he wasn't sure if there was anything to worry about, but he looked _very_ worried this morning. Oh...oh no. I sat upright and stared at Edward. He opened his eyes and gave me a questioning look.

"You are worried that something is coming....something bad. And you are worried that I'm in danger." As I said the words, I knew I was right.


	5. Visions

**Sorry it took me a bit longer than usual, I already know where the story is going to go, but I've been mapping out the details and how to get there. Hope you like it!!**

**As always, all credit goes to Stephanie Meyer**

* * *

I stared at Edward, he looked away from me and stood up.

"Bella, I....it's not........we don't know anything right now. I....yes of course I'm worried about you; I'm _always _worried about you. You don't understand the dangers that we pose to you. We are blind to what's coming and that makes it harder for me to protect you. I'm very.......uncomfortable.......with that."

"But, you said you don't know if there's anything to worry about, maybe Alice's ability is changing somehow?"

I was grasping at any possibility I could think of, but I knew this was serious, and I knew Edward wasn't telling me everything.

"No. No, that's not it; Alice's visions have always been strong and clear. They may change based on what a person decides, but they've never been like this. Her visions have never changed, never been broken up like this. Something else is going on."

I glanced at him and looked away. I knew there was more he wasn't telling me. I sat there fidgeting, waiting, hoping he would explain everything to me. But I knew if he hadn't told me already, he wasn't going to tell me right now.

"I think we should head back. I'm sorry, I meant for this to be a day for us, a good day. I hadn't planned on getting into this with you here, now. But when I saw how you were, the way you get when you have questions, I knew that I was going to have to tell you, or you'd get it out of Alice somehow. I didn't want to worry you with all of this until we knew what was happening. I'm sorry Bella."

I could feel my legs getting weak and my breathing was uneven, I was starting to panic. The reality of the situation was hitting me. Something bad was going to happen, and it was going to happen to me. Again. Oh God. I closed my eyes and forced myself to concentrate. I clasped my hands together and took deep, even breaths. Willing myself to calm down and focus I opened my eyes and made myself stand up. Edward still hadn't turned back to face me, I could only hope he wasn't picking up on my panic. I forced myself to calm down. Okay, so they didn't know what was happening, Edward didn't know what was happening and that's why he was scared. He was scared because I'm human and I'm the vulnerable one, the one he wants to protect the most. _And the one he has to work the hardest to protect_ I thought with frustration, _because I'm human._ I thought very carefully about my next words, I knew how he would react, I knew what he would say, but I couldn't stop myself from saying the words out loud anyway.

"Edward...."

He looked at me, and I hesitated, but I couldn't help it, I had to point out the obvious. I took a deep breath and braced myself for his reaction. "Maybe we should talk about.....well....I just think that if something is coming that we can't prepare for....." I couldn't find the right words, but I kept going, "Maybe we need to talk about at least.....preparing me?" He looked confused.

"Bella, teaching you to defend yourself _is_ a good idea; I would feel much better knowing you were able to handle yourself in situations with other people, but now isn't the time. It's not going to help us when..._if_ something supernatural enough to block Alice's visions is coming for us."

"No, Edward, I'm not worried about other people, I'm worried about...I just think that it's best if we are all at our best, as strong as we can be for what-----might----be coming. "

He stared at me.

I dropped my eyes to the grass, and began fidgeting.

"Bella? Wha.."

I looked up into his face. His whole body went rigid and his face turned hard with comprehension, he finally understood. He turned his back to me.

"No Bella." That was all he said.

"But if something bad is coming, something unknown and dangerous, wouldn't it be better for me to be strong? If I had been turned before James,"

He wheeled around and grabbed me by my shoulders, his grip was firm but not painful. He stared into my eyes and all I could see there was pain.

"No, Bella. I will not let you make a decision like that based on fear. What's happening could be nothing. I worry about you because you are my _life_. It doesn't mean you're in danger. This is not the way."

The determination in his voice was crushing. I could feel my face starting to flush, and I could feel the tears springing up into my eyes. I looked down in an effort to keep him from seeing them. I don't know why I bothered to try.

"Don't. Don't cry, please Bella. I know you think you want this....._existence,_" he waved a hand up and down his body, as if I needed a point of reference. "But you don't know what you're asking; you don't know what you'd be giving up."

"I know I can't give you up, and someday I'll have to, I'm going to keep getting older, and eventually I'll die Edward. What I want, is you, what I'd be giving up is a life without you, all I'm asking is for us to be together." He shook his head and closed his eyes.

"We are together Bella, we can be togeth...."

"No! We can't, not if I grow old and die, and then you'll still be here, and I'll be gone."

"I've told you before, I won't live without you." He said simply, so matter of factly that it took me a minute to understand his meaning.

I remembered back to the first time we had talked about it, what would happen if one of us died, he had told me about the Volturi. I knew what he was saying, but I refused to believe that he would do that, I could feel my hands clenching into fists, my lip was trembling in anger at his words.

"I can't live without you Bella, I won't live without you. Before you, my world was empty and meaningless. You are everything to me, my life. When your life ends, someday when you have lived a long full human life, mine will end as well."

His blatant use of the word 'human' did not escape my attention. I was so angry, how could he say that he would rather commit some sort of suicide, the vampire version of suicide, rather than change me? Was it my humanity that made him love me? Maybe he didn't want me as a vampire; maybe he didn't think he could love me as a vampire. The tears were spilling over now, I couldn't hold them in. I turned away from him.

"Bella, please. Try to understand. What I am, it's not glamorous, it's not exciting, I am a monster. I kill to survive. Have you truly thought about what it means? You'd not only be giving up your humanity, you'd be giving up everything from your human world, Charlie, Renee, your friends. Everything, Bella. I know I've said all of this before, but I don't think you truly understand."

I couldn't answer him. We'd been over this; there was no point in going over it again. I couldn't see things from his perspective. Do sharks not hunt? Do lions? Bears? They hunt to live, the same way Edward did. And I knew it would be difficult not seeing Charlie and Renee, but I would find a way to live with that, I could _not _find a way to live without him, and I could _not _wither and wrinkle while he stayed beautiful and perfect. But he couldn't see things that way and I couldn't see things his way. So for now, I let it go and starting walking toward the forest. Instantly Edward was in front of me, stopping me short. He gently wiped a tear from my cheek and pulled me into him.

"I love you. " Three little words, words that made me forget everything else for the moment. I closed my eyes and leaned into his body.

"I love you, Edward."

We stood there for a long time, holding on to the moments. Then finally, he picked me up and I closed my eyes and waited for our journey through the woods to be over. We drove, ridiculously fast of course, back to Edward's, I knew he taking me there to see Alice and Jasper, because he knew that would make me happy, and he wanted me to forget about this afternoon. I got out of the car slowly, suddenly feeling anxious about facing Jasper. Would he want to see me? I walked into the house tentatively, not sure what to expect. Resentment? Anger? But when I saw him, he smiled at me and although he hovered just far enough away from me, his face was calm and relaxed. I felt a wave of calm come over me as well, and I smiled.

"You don't have to do that Jasper, I'm not afraid of you." I smiled at him reassuringly. "I don't blame you for what happened it was an accident and it's over and I'm ready to leave it in the past and move on. I'm sorry for everything, I feel like it was all my fault."

He nodded appreciatively. "Bella I'm sorry that I waited so long to talk to you, it's just been difficult for me. To have come so far, and then had such a setback is......frustrating, discouraging. It wasn't your fault, you can't blame yourself, and I certainly don't blame you, none of us do. It was an accident, as you said."

I was so relieved and so happy to have finally seen for myself that he was okay. Just then Alice pranced into the room, and pulled me into a tight embrace.

"Bella you look like you've been crying." She frowned. "Edward, what did you do?"

Edward rolled his eyes. Alice looked at him intensely for a moment, and then nodded. I was all too familiar with these silent exchanges. Sometimes this mind reading thing was very irritating.

"Honestly Edward, you really do overreact way too much, we all know what I've seen."

He shot her a look of anger.

"No." His voice was firm and angry.

This time it was Alice and I both who rolled our eyes at Edward.

"Bella, I don't know how you put up with it."

She hugged me again and flitted off after Jasper. I shook my head and sighed. I was definitely feeling tired, it had been a long day. And not the day I had hoped for. I looked over at Edward, and saw he had been watching me. He looked worried and anxious.

"How do you feel? Now that you've seen Jasper, and you can see that he doesn't blame you?"

"Thank you Edward, for bringing me here today to talk to him. I needed to see for myself that he was okay; I needed him to understand that I'm okay. I feel much better about things now. Edward....."

"Yes?" He was stroking the back of my hand with his thumb, and it was making it hard for me to concentrate, my heart began thudding very loud. A smile slowly spread across his face. I flushed. I closed my eyes and tried to concentrate.

"What did Alice say to you earlier?" He looked away from me.

"I swear Bella, you grow more and more observant every day, I can rarely get anything past you anymore." I scowled at him.

"Why should you need to get anything past me at all?"

"She just asked me if I had told you about her visions, that's all. She thinks I am too protective, that I don't give you enough credit. But Bella, today when I told you, I saw the panic that you felt. I could sense the fear, that's what I hate. That's what I try to protect you from. I just don't want to upset you unnecessarily. If I can keep you from feeling that way, why wouldn't I try?"

He pulled me in close to him; I didn't know what to say. I was angry at myself for my reaction at the meadow; I wished I could have just kept my emotions in check. But they gave me away every time. I buried my face in his chest and breathed him in.

"You're tired, come on I'll take you home." I didn't argue with him, I was exhausted.

As we pulled up to Charlie's driveway Edward stiffened. I immediately froze, terrified something horrible was happening, Alice's visions had me on edge. My eyes darted back to the house, and then I instantly relaxed. I saw Jacob leaning up against my truck. I glanced over at Edward, his eyes were hard.

"It's just Jacob, Edward. I don't see any sign of Billy here. Actually there's not even a car or truck so I have no idea how Jacob got here. "

"I don't like it. I don't like him being here like this, he doesn't know how to keep his thoughts in check." I sighed, frustrated.

"Edward, I've told you, Jacob just thinks of me as a friend." Edward raised his eyebrow.

"You really made an impression on him. " He was smiling at me, but it didn't reach his eyes.

"Bella I know you enjoy his friendship, but please keep in mind that I know things you couldn't possibly know. Jacob Black is not a good friend for you to have. You need to be careful."

I could feel my anger rising, and I wanted to stomp my foot in frustration.

"Edward, Jacob is my friend. Period. There is nothing else there. Now, I'm going to get out of the car and go see what he wants, are you coming?"

He hesitated for a minute staring at Jacob, then darted his eyes back to me.

"I don't want to leave you alone right now, not with what's going on. We have to be careful. Let's go." I cringed when I thought of Alice's visions. I had been trying to push that out of my mind, but the truth was it terrified me. I took a deep breath and stepped out of the car, waving to Jacob as he started towards us.

"Hey Bella!" He grinned at me, showing all his white teeth. I smiled back at him.

"Hey Jacob! Where's your dad?" Jacob glanced at Edward and his smile faded.

"He's home, a couple of friends were headed up this way and I just thought I'd drop by and hang out for a bit. I wasn't sure if you 'd be home....."

Edward pulled me to him and kissed me lightly on the cheek. He put his lips softly against my ear. "I'll wait for you inside," He whispered so low I could barely hear him. "Be careful." He kissed me again, this time on the lips, not quite so softly, and then, he very humanly, walked inside.

Jacob looked uncomfortable.

"Hey, sorry I guess I should have called first." He smiled awkwardly.

"No it's fine Jacob, it was nice of you to drop by. Do you want to come in? Have a glass of water or something to eat? You haven't been waiting here too long have you?" I felt incredibly guilty that he had been standing here waiting and now he felt unwelcome. He waved his hand in the air to dismiss my concerns.

"I just got here a few minutes ago; I figured you'd probably be on your way home from somewhere. Um, I am kind of hungry but the guys will be back any minute and we'll be heading back to La Push. I'll eat there; I really just stopped by to say hi. Look, there's the car now."

A beat up old car, I have no idea what kind, came roaring into the driveway. I stared at it, my eyes wide with surprise. Two guys about Jacob's age (I guessed?) got out and bounded over toward us.

"Bella, this is Quil and Embry," Jacob pointed to each of them as he said their names and smiled at me.

"So this is Bella, well Bella it's great to _finally_ meet you." Quil laughed as he elbowed Embry, who also burst out into laughter. Jacob punched them both in their arms.

"We're going, see you Bella."

Jacob practically dragged Quil and Embry back to the car, as they laughed and hooted. He glanced at me apologetically and I smiled and waved. As they pulled away I turned toward the house, and Edward was standing in doorway. Arms crossed, eyebrow raised, smug look on his face. I held up my hand and shook my head. He smirked and turned back into the house. I shot a glance back to where the car had squealed off, Edward's presence always made Jacob uncomfortable, and he seemed anxious to leave. I couldn't help wondering if there was some other reason Jacob had stopped by to see me......


	6. Secrets

**As always, all credit goes to Stephanie Meyer **

* * *

I stared out the window while Edward lounged on the bed. I had so many questions, so many things running through my mind. None of which he would talk to me about. I sighed.

"What are you thinking?"

Edward cocked his head sideways and smiled at me. I knew he wouldn't like what I was really thinking so I just shrugged and curled up beside him. Nothing was better than lying beside him. He tucked the blankets all around me and pulled me close. I closed my eyes and wished it could always be like this. He kissed my forehead; I felt his cool breath on my face. He slid his finger under my chin and gently pulled my face up to his, he gazed into my eyes and I lost all concentration. He smiled when my heart started pounding against my chest, as it always did when he looked at me like that; he pressed his lips to mine, softly and laid his head against my chest.

"I think you do that just to get my heart going." I accused him.

He laughed.

"I love the sound of it, your heart. It's like my own little compass. It's amazing."

We lay there for a little while not saying anything. My thoughts wandered toward Jacob Black. I couldn't help feeling like his visit here was unusual. Not that it would be so unusual if he had just wanted to stop by, but it was just the way that he had stopped by. Getting dropped off here by his friends, knowing he would have a time limit....that was strange. It was like he had a reason for coming by, but he never got around to telling me. I couldn't shake the feeling that he had wanted to talk to me, but never got the chance. But...then if he had something serious to say, Edward would have heard it in his thoughts, so really I was probably making something out of nothing. Still.....I couldn't shake the feeling.

"Jacob wants to warn you about me, you know." Edward sat up and gazed at me, he looked amused.

"What?"

"He wants to tell you to be careful, and that I'm not safe. He's actually quite worried about you."

"But...Jacob doesn't believe the stories....he thinks they're just old stupid legends."

"Well, I didn't pick up anything in his thoughts about vampires, specifically, so it's possible he still feels that way. He just seems to think it's risky for you to be dating me."

He raised his eyebrow.

I shook my head.

"Why would he think that? Maybe Billy put him up to it..." But that didn't seem right; he would have made a big deal about how foolish Billy was if that had been the case.

"No, he made this trip all on his own Bella, he just seems to think I'm a bad choice for you. "

Well. At least that explained the weird feeling I got about his visit. No, it didn't. Not really. If that was all Jacob wanted to say he would have just said it. Edward was inside, Jacob would have said his piece and been done with it. I needed to talk to Jacob and get this sorted out.

"Of course he's absolutely right. You'd be much better off with someone like Mike, a human companion, someone safe for you. A situation where a paper cut didn't put you in mortal danger."

Edward was looking away now, but I could see the pain in his eyes; that look always terrified me. I could feel the panic rising, I hated these kinds of thoughts that he had.

He looked back at me, seeing the hurt in my eyes.

"It would be better for you Bella. If only I were strong enough to let you go."

The panic increased.

"But I'm not. Not unless it was what you wanted. I'm here, I'm not going anywhere."

"Edward, there's no one else in this world for me. I'd rather die than be with Mike."

"I'd rather die than see you with him, but he would be a much healthier choice for you."

"There is no choice."

He held me close.

"Hearing you say that shouldn't make me feel this way Bella, but I long to hear those words. I love to hear them."

I just closed my eyes and held on to him. I wished, once again, that he could just accept that he wasn't a danger to me. He was always so worried that I wasn't safe, and now there was the added worry of Alice's visions.

He hadn't been going hunting very regularly and only seemed to go when I would mention it to him; it was like he was trying not to leave me alone at all. But I had questioned him about it and so he made plans to go tomorrow, and as I thought of it, I made some plans of my own.

"What time are you leaving tomorrow?" I hated that he had to go, but I hated it even more that he was suffering unnecessarily because of me.

"Early. The sooner I'm back, the better. In fact, I'll probably be gone before you wake up. We'll spend most of the day out there."

I knew he wanted to sate his thirst as much as possible, to delay his next hunting trip as long as possible. He'd been fiercely protective ever since Alice starting having her strange, inexplicable visions. He didn't want me out of his sight and he tried to be inconspicuous about it, but his actions were clear to me.

I had a restless night and woke to find Edward gone, a note left in his perfect script.

"_I will be back as soon as I can. Take care of my heart; I've left it with you."_

I held the note close to my chest for a few minutes, and then set to work getting ready. I didn't like to deceive Edward, but I knew he'd only worry if I'd told him the truth. I figured with Alice's visions being blanked out, I should be safe to make a decision without her knowing. But, just in case, I got ready in a flash. I threw on some clothes and yanked a brush through my hair, effectively ripping out several hunks. I grabbed my keys and ran out the truck. I was on my way in 10 minutes. So far so good. I was banking on Alice not knowing where I was going and I prayed my luck would hold. If she saw me driving out to La Push, or saw me with Jacob, I knew Edward would be back here instantly. I kept my fingers crossed.

It was raining hard as I pulled up to the little red house and took a deep breath. Something was off about Jacob's visit yesterday and I wanted to know what it was. Edward had told me that Jacob was planning on giving me a warning, but that didn't seem right. What would he be warning me about? I couldn't decide if Edward was editing what he had heard, or if Jacob had somehow hidden it from him. That didn't seem possible but I had to find out anyway. I stepped onto the ground and made my way to the house, just as I raised my hand to knock the door flew open and two big brown eyes were staring at me. Jacob was looking down at me, and he was huge. It looked like he'd grown more than a few inches since the last time I saw him. My mouth hung open. I blinked.

"I thought I heard the truck, what are you doing here?"

I closed my mouth and frowned. I was hurt by Jacob's lack of enthusiasm at my visit, he was usually happy to see me. Maybe I was interrupting his plans. I should have called.

"I'm sorry Jacob, are you busy? I can come back another time..."

Jacob's eyes darted around outside, then back to me. He looked like he was having some sort of internal debate.

"No, I'm not busy, and I wanted to talk to you anyway I guess. But let's go somewhere, it's a really crappy day out, even crappier than usual so let's go to the beach."

I must have looked confused because Jacob shook his head.

"It's just easier okay? Can we just go?"

"Okay." I didn't like this new Jacob. He had always been so relaxed and so easy to be with. We could talk for hours and just sit around, and now here he was stiff and tense. I tried to sort out my feelings about it as we walked toward the truck. He headed for the driver's seat and I didn't argue. I passed him the keys and we drove in silence.

"We're here." I announced as if he hadn't been driving.

I glanced over at him; he took a deep breath and shook his head. He looked anxious.

"Come on."

He started loping through the sand, to our tree. I watched him in awe for a few minutes wondering how he could move so fast. Then, as if he just realized he'd done something wrong he stopped abruptly, and looking rather sheepish he walked slowly back.

"Sorry, forget how fast I am sometimes."

Without saying a word I walked to the tree and sat down. Then I looked at him expectantly.

He paced back and forth for a few minutes and I just waited, watching him.

"Okay. I know this is going to sound weird, cause I don't really _know_ your...boyfriend," he threw me a glance at the word 'boyfriend', when I didn't react, he continued.

"But I.....he....." he threw his hands up in the air and grunted in frustration.

"Okay. He's just not...he might not be as _good_ of a guy as you think. Maybe you should stay away from him Bella, I'm not sure he's......safe...for you."

He looked at me with a kind of worried expression I'd never seen on Jacob's face before, and I started wondering what had changed here. He knew about the stories before, but he never believed them. Did he believe them now? How could that have happened? Maybe this was something else entirely...like more rumours.

"What exactly do you mean 'not as good of a guy as I think', what are you talking about Jacob?"

He closed his eyes and clenched his fists. He took a few deep breaths and started pacing again. After a few minutes he opened his eyes and stared at me.

"This was stupid, I shouldn't have said anything. There's no way to.... look you should just go home Bella. I'm sorry."

I sat frozen on the wooden bench.

"Jake I'm not leaving. You showed up at my house to tell me something, I know you did. And now here you are trying again, to tell me something. Why can't you just tell me?"

He grabbed his hair with both hands and looked up to the sky.

"Jake.....?"

"Bella, look. I'm sorry, I really can't do this. I'm telling you that Edward might not be the kind of....person....you imagine he is. I don't know if you know that already and I don't know if you think I'm crazy or if you are completely aware of what I'm getting at, but either way you need to go. I've said what I can and it's more than I should have said at all. Please go."

I was totally confused, but also very hurt. So I got up slowly and started towards the truck. I glanced back at Jacob and instantly regretted it. His face was crumpled in agony. I didn't understand any of this. I turned away again and reached for the door of my truck, just as I realized Jacob still had my keys. I got in anyway. I couldn't face going back to him. I sat there like an idiot, waiting for him to realize what I already knew and come over with my keys. Then I saw Embry heading toward me.

"Hi Bella, remember me from the other day? Embry." He pointed to himself to reinforce that he was Embry.

"You come to see Jake? " He looked very suspicious, and nervous as he questioned me about the reason for me visit, which I found more than strange. Why else would I be here but to see Jacob. I raised my eyebrow at him.

"Okay, yeah stupid question. Look you probably should go, Jake doesn't look like he's in the mood to see anybody; actually maybe he's just not feeling well."

So Embry knew what was going on, and he was clearly trying to get me to leave. Well, fine, if that's what he wanted I was happy to comply at this point.

"Embry I would love to leave," he looked surprised at the anger in my voice. "But _he_," I pointed at Jacob, as if there was anyone else around I could be referring to, "has my keys."

Embry looked confused, but without saying a word he ran over to Jacob and after a few minutes of what looked like very intense conversation, he came running back with my keys. Jacob didn't look in my direction.

"Here." he said as if he were handing me the keys, but instead he held on to them and fiddled with them. I looked at him, impatient and trying my best to hold back my tears. I needed to get out of here.

"Listen, Bella, it's probably not a good idea for you to come around here. It probably seems like Jake is being a jerk, but he's not. He's just, well he has a huge crush on you and he's having a hard time with that. I mean he thinks about you _all_ the time and it's been driving all of us crazy because he can't control his thoughts and....." he stopped short and a shot a look of panic in my direction, then quickly looked away.

"Look, what I mean is he's having a hard time with this and we're helping him through it. It'll be easier for him if you're not around. You two hanging around all the time isn't helping him to get over this. And, I'm pretty sure you have a serious boyfriend already." He looked like he wanted to say more about that, but he looked down and handed me my keys.

"So.....see ya." And with that parting sentiment, he walked away. He patted Jacobs arm and Jacob shrugged him off and headed in the direction of the woods.

I started my truck and slowly headed back to Forks, more confused than I had been when I left. I could feel the tears spilling out onto my cheeks. Jacob was hiding something from me, whatever it was, Embry knew about it too. And for some reason Jacob felt the need to warn me about Edward. It didn't make sense that he would just start believing the stories Billy told him. No, something had happened, something Jacob didn't want me to know. As I drove slowly away from La Push, I wondered, intensely frustrated, why it seemed like _everyone_ was keeping things from me.

* * *

**Hope you guys are liking it so far, there's lots more to come :)**


	7. Too much information

**As always all credit goes to Stephanie Meyer**

* * *

I was completely bewildered and more confused than before. And to top it all off I was still hurt by Jacob's attitude, and shocked by Embry's confession of Jacob's feelings for me. This was all just too much. I wiped the tears from my eyes and after driving for about ten minutes I had to pull over. I got out of the truck and slammed the door, determined to take my frustration out on something. I stomped up the road and stood there in the rain with my fists clenched and tears still streaking down my face. I was getting soaked, my hair was plastered to my face and the rain was stinging my skin, but I didn't care.

After a few minutes I began to feel increasingly stupid. I sighed, and walked back to my truck. Whatever was happening, it wasn't going to be solved by my standing in the rain like a crazy person. I stomped on my gas pedal, pulled back out into the road, and felt a huge thud hit the back of my truck. I screamed and slammed on the brakes, the tires squealed and the truck came to an abrupt stop. I sat there terrified, I couldn't breathe and my heart was pounding. I couldn't move. I felt slow movement from the back of the truck; my mind was racing with scenarios. Should I get out and run? Could I out run whatever it was? Should I scream? I thought running would be my best chance. If only I could get my feet to move. I removed my hands from the steering wheel, slowly, and slid half an inch closer to the door. There was a hiss, and then more thudding, then a horrible growling and scraping sound. My truck shook ferociously, then it was still and there was silence. I sat there stunned, in shock. Unable to move. My eyes wide with terror and my hands frozen mid way to the door handle. I sat like that for what felt like a very long time, then I started my truck and stepped as hard as I could on the gas. The one coherent thought I had was that I needed to get out of there. _Now._

I had just started to drive when my door opened and I screamed again, a cold hand touched mine and I heard Edward's sweet voice telling me to slide over. I complied. He drove me to the Cullen house, pulled to a stop and jumped out of the truck. He looked scared and angry, very angry.

"Stay here Bella." Then he was gone. I turned to look out the window, trying to see him but of course I couldn't. I turned back and jumped, he was already back beside me.

"What happened?" He sniffed and made a horrible face, one I hope I never see again. "Where did you go?"

His voice was hard.

"I-I don't...I don't..." I started shaking violently and Edward immediately softened, he pulled me into him and kissed my forehead.

"It's okay. Bella love, you are safe now. I'm here. Nothing is going to hurt you."

I took a few deep breaths and started to calm down. Edward pulled away very gently and looked at me.

"Please Bella." I knew he wanted an explanation, and I needed to pull myself together. I took one long full breath and closed my eyes. Alice must have told him where I was. He would have been worried enough to come find me.

"I went to see Jacob; I thought if I could just talk to him I could understand what he wanted yesterday. I thought if I could just talk to him Edward, that I could find out what happened to make him think he needed to warn me about you."

Edward closed his eyes. I kept talking.

"He wasn't himself, well, not the Jacob I know, he was tense and angry. He told me you might not be the person I think you are; then he said he thought I might already know what he was talking about, but that he couldn't say any more. He told me to leave."

Edward opened his eyes furrowed his brow. I hesitated, unsure if I should tell him what happened next, but I kept going.

"Then.... Embry came over to me and...." I hesitated, not wanting to admit to Edward the truth of Jacob's feelings. I flushed and started down at my hands. "He said that Jake thinks about me all the time and it drives them all insane. I guess he must tell them what he's thinking about, though that seems weird. It doesn't sound like something Jacob would do. But that's what Embry said, and then he looked like he was sorry he said it, like he said too much. And it seemed like there was something he wasn't telling me, something Embry didn't want me to know, and something Jacob wanted me to know but couldn't tell me."

Edward turned to look out the window. I wasn't sure what to say, I felt stupid. Edward had known that Jacob was interested in more than friendship with me, but I had denied it down to my core. I had thought he was my friend; I wanted him to be my friend. I stared at my hands, willing myself to shrink down and disappear.

Edward was staring at me when I looked up, his expression one of torment. It was like he was arguing with himself.

"So it's true then." I assumed he meant that Alice had a vision of me going to see Jacob.

Edward pursed his lips.

"Of course it's true Edward, Alice's visions are messed up but you wouldn't question one like that, of me going to see Jake?"

Edward looked confused, then shook his head.

"Alice didn't have a vision of you with Jacob, Bella. She had a vision of you going to La Push, then it went blank, completely blank. You were gone." I opened my mouth to speak, but Edward didn't give me the chance.

"Bella I know that you enjoyed his friendship, but it's better if you don't go back there. It's not safe." My eyebrows pulled together in frustration. Not safe, not safe, the words Edward kept using. They didn't make sense to me.

"Why Edward? Why do you keep saying that? How could Jacob be dangerous? He's just Jacob, no matter what else is going on, he's still just Jake."

Edward looked me with that same tortured expression. I waited for him to tell me what was on his mind, but he didn't speak. I wondered if he knew what had happened in the back of my truck.

"What was that Edward, before you came......I don't know, something fell into the back of my truck, or jumped, I don't know. I heard noises, growling and scraping and then nothing. Then you were there."

When I looked back up at Edward, his eyes were wide and his face was contorted with fury and fear, I had never seen him this angry or this frightened before.

"Bella, Jacob is dangerous; in fact the entire reservation is unsafe. I want you stay away from there."

"But nothing happened there, it was when I was driving home, I was already passed the border."

"I can see that this is going to be a problem. I know Jacob was your friend Bella," I drew my eyebrows together at the word 'was'. "But it's absolutely out of the question for you to go back there; it's not safe for you. It's dangerous; please just trust me Bella, please."

He looked desperate. And I had had enough of all these vague explanations and warnings. According to Jacob, Edward wasn't safe, though I had no idea why. According to Edward, Jacob wasn't safe, though I had no idea why. Well that was it for me. I closed my eyes so I could concentrate fully on my next words.

"Edward, _everyone _is keeping things from me and I am tired of being kept in the dark about all these things that are supposedly a danger to me. You _will_ tell me what's going on. I will sit here all night until you do, and I'm sure you don't want Charlie sending out a search party. "

I knew very well that Edward could easily drive the truck home and carry me inside and there wouldn't be anything I could do about it, but I wasn't going to just give up.

He sighed.

"Jacob is not dangerous Edward, I know him. So unless you can give me a good reason why I should be afraid of him, then I will have to assume you are wrong."

"Bella, do you have any idea how close I came to breaking the treaty just now? I would have broken it if I had gotten there sooner. Damn it Bella!"

I stared at him in total confusion.

"What?"

Edward looked away, and I sat silently. I would wait as long as it took.

"Bella there are things you don't understand, dangers you don't comprehend. " He closed his eyes, and I took a deep breath.

"Then explain them to me Edward. You want me to be safe, you think I don't take your warnings seriously. Well, maybe if I _understood_ those warnings, if you would be honest with me and tell me what's happening, then maybe it would make sense to me. I feel like I'm part of some mystery that everyone knows about but me!"

I closed my eyes and concentrated on keeping more tears from staining my cheeks. When I opened them, Edward was looking away. We sat like that for a long time, and when he finally turned his face back to mine I saw sadness in his eyes. That scared me more than anything. He sighed and then took my hand.

''How did you feel when you found out about me, about what I am? You seemed to be fine, you didn't even seem surprised, but how did you really feel? Is it better that you know? I wonder if I could have kept it from you."

These questions confused me, I had thought we were talking about Jacob, but I didn't hesitate to answer him, there was only one answer.

"I don't care what you are Edward, I love what you are, I love you. I wanted to know, I'm _glad_ I know; I want to know every part of you. How would you have explained your absence on every sunny day, or why you pull away from me every time I get too close? Or you body temperature for that matter. We never would have been able to be together like we are if I didn't know the truth Edward. And no, I wasn't surprised, I always knew you were something more, more than human. There was always something extraordinary about you."

He nodded.

"I expected you would say something like that." He looked into my eyes for a long minute, I thought he might end the conversation there, and I might go crazy.

"Bella, do you remember how you found out about me? When Jacob told you the story?"

I nodded fervently, definitely not something I would ever forget.

"Tell me. Tell me the story, just the way he told you."

I looked at him, confused. Why would he want to hear this? We'd talked about this before, he knew all of this. He sensed my hesitation.

"Please Bella."

"Well, Jake said that the 'cold ones' showed up on hi—" He raised his hand in protest.

"From the beginning please, all of it. Tell me as if I'd never heard it before." This was getting more confusing, but I complied.

"Well, according to the legends, the Quileute members descended from wolves. One day they found the 'cold ones' hunting on their land, but they said that they weren't like the others, and the Quileute people believed them. They made a treaty that as long as the cold ones didn't hunt on their land, they wouldn't kill them."

I knew the story was probably more elaborate, but this was all I could pull from my mind.

The word treaty rang in my brain, but before I had time to think about it, Edward began to speak.

"And you found that the legend of the 'cold ones' was not so much a legend at all, that we exist. "

"Right." I couldn't hide the apprehension in my voice.

"So then the Quileute legends would be based on truth."

"Right." I looked at him, unsure of what he was trying to say. He stroked the back of my hand. I could tell this was hard for him, telling me something he wasn't sure I should know.

"Bella, what I'm trying to get you to understand here, is that the legends aren't just legends," I opened my mouth to speak but he put his finger over my lips.

"Let me finish please. The story you heard was not really a story, it's a history lesson. Vampires do exist, and if the legends speak the truth about us....."

He paused here gauging my reaction. I furrowed my brow in concentration, trying to understand this. He was saying the legends were true. Okay, vampires are real, I know that already. The legends are true......not stories. All of the legends, I could feel my eyes widen with astonishment, and my heart starting picking up speed. Werewolves, the Quileute members were descended from wolves, werewolves exist? Is that what he wanted me to understand?

"Edward?" I waited for the confirmation in his eyes.

"Yes Bella, the werewolves exist every bit as much as we do. Actually, we had thought the line died out with Ephriam Black, Jacob's grandfather, but it turns out we were wrong. We aren't sure how many of them there are, but we are sure that they are there. What you told me today about Jacob and Embry, that confirmed the suspicions my family and I had. And...." He glanced at me hesitantly, "I smelled them."

I was trying to think this through. Trying to understand, my eyes were still wide and I could feel my breathing getting uneven.

"Bella, are you okay?" Edward pulled me in close to him and held me. "I would never let them hurt you, I will keep you safe." I didn't understand what he was saying, 'keep me safe?' Why would I be in danger, I hadn't come across any wolves trying to hunt me down. Then Edward's words echoed in my brain. _Not safe, not safe_. "_It's better if you don't go back there. It's not safe." _He was saying La Push wasn't safe. Jacob was not safe. My eyes grew even wider, and my head shook in denial. I looked up at him continuing to shake my head.

"No..." I wasn't afraid, I was shocked. Jacob, who was just Jacob, who couldn't be anything else but just Jacob. _"No matter what else is going on, he's still just Jake." _My earlier words pounded through my mind. I always knew Edward was something else, but Jacob was so....human.

"It's true Bella. Jacob is a part of it. We have no idea how many of them there are, we know nothing about the pack structure. We have only the basic information. But, what it comes down to is, we are enemies. There's nothing to be done about it. We have to honour the treaty; we have to stay away from each other."

I tried to steady my breathing as I processed this.

The treaty, he had almost broken the treaty....to come and get me.

"I can smell him on you Bella, I know what he is. And from the sounds of it, Embry as well."

"But, my truck, something was in my truck..."

Edward closed his eyes. When he opened them, they were filled with fury.

"Laurent has been by the house apparently, when I was hunting. He was asking questions about you. It was strange and Carlisle asked him to leave. I hadn't thought much of it, he'd always been fascinated by our association with you, but ..."

He hesitated.

"His scent is here, along with the scent of the wolves. It would appear that he was searching for you, and they got him first."

This was too much, I could feel darkness pulling me and then it was black.

"Bella? Bella? Can you hear me? Carlisle, something's wrong she should have woken up by now."

"Edward she's fine, she's had to deal with several major shocks in a very short period of time, her mind shut down, but she'll be okay. Give her time."

"She's going to wake up in 37 seconds." Alice chimed in.

"Edward..."

"Oh Bella, you're awake. Are you okay?"

"Mmmm"

"I'm sorry, I knew I shouldn't have........this was too much for you to deal with."

I felt my eyes fluttering open. I took in the scene around me. Edward was staring at me anxiously. I was in the Cullen house. I took a deep breath and pulled my eyes all the way open. It took me a few minutes to remember what had happened. Edward had told me something....Laurent, Laurent had come after me...someone stopped him....something....wolves....Jacob. Then it hit me all at once. Jacob was a werewolf, and there were others. I was attacked by a vampire, _another_vampire, the Quileute stories were true, werewolves exist, they can't cross the borderline, the Cullens can't cross the borderline............... I needed to wrap my head around what all of this meant. My head was to fuzzy to make sense of any of it now. I could only focus on one thought, one truth, one impossible fact.

Jacob was a werewolf.

* * *

**So were you surprised that Edward told her about Jacob? I had to make some judgment calls with this one. I figured that Edward, in his obsession with keeping her safe, would figure that having her know about the wolves would make her see that going to La Push was unsafe. How else could he convince her of the dangers? So, though he was seriously conflicted, and it did go against his instincts, he decided the best way to keep her safe was to be honest with her, and hope that she could see the dangers herself. **

**Hope you are liking it so far!!**


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